I, on the other hand, work a 40-hour week and my children have always participated in some kind of daycare. And with that, I am not able to spend as much time around my kids as my mother did with us. I think this is perfectly acceptable because having a career outside the home is a choice I made. Along with my work hours, I rarely cook elaborate dinners and am very grateful to have found wonderful pre-made options at the grocery store. But perhaps the thing I wish that I could do like my mom is have the time in the afternoon to take my kids outside like she did with us. I worry that they’ll look back and feel like they missed out.
However, as an adult, I have made a conscious effort to do things differently than my own mother did. She had three kids, as I do. But looking back, I feel that the entire family unit took priority over the individual kids. This was especially true when my brother was an infant. I felt like individual activities and one-on-one time with her wasn’t enough of a priority because she was taking care of a house and other kids too. So I make a point to make special time for each of my kids and make sure they are all involved in some kind of extracurricular activity that is just for them and not their siblings.
Different but the Respect Remains
And even though our “mothering” styles are different, we still completely respect each other as mothers. Not all people are the same and there’s no reason to expect that all parents will be. I feel very fortunate for the many things she did so well during my childhood and have learned from the things that she did that I’d like to do differently for my own babies. I’m thrilled that she’s a part of my life and stands by me and supports me in the choices I make as a newer mother.
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