Commentary on Childbirth Decisions
New moms always hear an earful from family members, friends, and even strangers about how they should parent their children. The same goes when you’re pregnant. Someone is always telling you that you should deliver in a hospital, that you should have a C-section with twins and that you should get an epidural during labor.
The endless childbirth advice was irritating for Mary. The new mom from Morrisville, N.C., received an earful from people when she informed them she would be having a natural birth at a birth center.
“They would start telling me the litany of things that could go wrong, and tell me not to be surprised if we ended up at the hospital. Or they would tell me their generally traumatic birth story, and that nobody should give birth without an epidural.”
Despite the negativity, Mary held steadfast to her plan. She ended up delivering naturally after an eight-hour labor and thirty minutes of pushing.
When Theresa was pregnant with her twins, she hated people assuming she was scheduling a Cesarean section. She had an emergency C-section with her first child and was determined to avoid that experience again. With the support of her healthcare provider, she planned to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).
“When people said, “˜When is your c-section?’ I would get so angry. But instead of showing my anger, this was one area where I actually had the balls to explain why I wanted to have a VBAC, and that it was actually safer than a cesarean. Once they heard my reasons, everyone was very understanding and supportive,” explained Theresa.
Speaking up made the difference. And that’s the common advice all four moms offer to others facing unwanted comments and opinions. It is also important to find a way to let the irritations go. People will be people, but this is your pregnancy and you should focus on enjoying the experience.
“When I was pregnant with my second baby, I thought, “˜You know what? This is the first time in life where it is completely OK to be bigger. I’m going to enjoy it.’ I knew my baby was healthy. I was eating right, and I didn’t have gestational diabetes or anything else. I just had big babies, ” said Amanda. “So enjoy the pregnancy, no matter what other people say.”
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Special Thanks:
Mary Horowitz (Inside Her Eyes)
Amanda Coburn (Open Hands)
Theresa Guderian (Confessions of a High-Heel Wearing Hippie Mommy)
Jenny T. (Practically Perfect)